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Chapter 6 .....Silvia


And just like that.... I had a date.

The scramble began, I had to cram 6-8 weeks of recovery plans in a matter of 10 days....

Oh, and  I mention this is my final semester of my degree?

So yea on top of working full time, trying to navigate through my interpersonal relationships,  and processing whatever is about to happen, I had to navigate what this could possibly look like for the last of my education.


I was extremely emotional at this point and probably closer to my breaking point that what I honestly wanted to admit..........

I was scared.

Scared of the pain, the recovery, the incision, hell how my body would look and feel because I had honestly just adjusted to the initial weight loss and of course dying.

While both procedures are fairly simple, its rare that they are done together....So I had no clue what to expect but that I was going to be in pain...

I got my tribe together for surgery/recovery plans, bought plenty of wine (they like red wine),and started really processing all of this...But the more I started to realize what was going on, the more I started trying to figure out what this meant for my future needs and wants...

I went to see my OBGYN surgeon for my last post-op appointment to sign some papers, get my pre opt instructions, etc.... She was hopeful, happy and super at ease that I would be ok. She reiterated the changes to my body and how it would effect any future fertility plans(IF there were any).She pulled my MRI to show me where she was going to cut, and how exactly this was going to happen....

And there it was......The thing that had come the bane of my existence 

Yea, that giant jelly bean on steroids looking thing is the mass that was sitting comfortably on my uterus, measuring about 17-19cms (and growing), and pressing against EVERYTHING .
I guess as I had gotten smaller IT had gotten bigger.

At that point, I instantly started fighting tears....
I felt stupid, like I had failed myself.
Something that large was sitting in my body and I had no clue, I thought what I had been feeling for months was 'normal'.....
I started thinking of all the cycles, pain and stomachaches that were my body telling me something was wrong.....
I didn't know though.....
I sat there sick to my stomach reflecting over the past year of my life.....

I looked up at my surgeon and said 'welp, Silvia gotta go'

'Who is Silvia?', she asked

'Sis that is sitting ruining my insides', I said cackling.......



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