Skip to main content

Chapter 5

So I go back to see the plastic surgeon days following the MRI....

She admits that the mass sitting there needed to be removed and it would be better in the long run for it to be gone for my desired results regarding her surgery. I asked her about doing the surgery with the other surgeon ....

She starred at me

And I starred at her...

'Well, we could do it, but just so you know this is going to a lot and this makes the possibility for infection higher' 
(Now seeing how I have a HUGE mass on my uterus the size of a child, I would imagine this would hurt)

'......But there is no sense in cutting twice, if our schedules can permit this we will do it'

I looked up at her and asked 'Well can you get a picture of the skin you are going to cut? I want to see it...'

She laughed and agreed.

Now this is literally the best news I had heard in weeks....

However we had a few variables.....
a-The plastic surgeon made it painfully clear this is her show and it will be completed her way
b- We had a proposed dated provided everything could be done
c-The OBGYN surgeon is super pregnant so I need to move quickly

So at this point, I am working with a month to get my entire life in order, working OT to stack a little, setting up my tribe for after care,possibly opening up another policy on myself, etc (yes,I am having these thoughts as Im talking to the doctor)
We get a date on the books provided everyone can get to the OR....

Now keep in mind this is all weeks before the entire world shut down and Corona is still a beer*, so the original date was fine.

I leave the doctors office on this weird high, it was a feeling of 'six in one had, half a dozen in the other', because on one side things were being handled quickly, and on the other I’m literally scared as fuck because my entire mid section is about to be cut out and off...

I start finally processing what is about to happen

....and the conversations that I needed to have 

Days later I get a message from the PS on a SUNDAY, I'm scared as fuck to open it because doctors don't send messages directly OR on Sundays...

'Hi ,
I wanted to keep you updated. I am trying to see if we can move the case to 2/19 and make it combined with Dr V. On 3/6 my schedule is too full to add 2 extra hours for the Ob/gyn part. But I know that would be great to be able to do all at once.
Would it work for you if we make the move?
Let me know.

My heart stopped..... This was really happening, and sooner than originally planned.....
At this point, I would have about 10 days to get a months worth of paperwork, prep, etc ready.

So I sent a message back reluctantly agreeing......Which would have been the best decision I ever made besides choosing these two doctors .

After I sent the message, I sat in shock and anxiety (again) because reality was starting to sit in 

This is really happening

*My hospital had been asking me about COVID-19 symptoms since January


Popular posts from this blog

The tale of two identities.

As children, most of us are raised to go to college, get good jobs and strive for greatness.

As black children, most of us are raised to go to college, be better than 'them' so you can't be denied, strive for greatness and act accordingly in spaces that are not our own.

As a lot of us grow up, we take heed to our lessons, aiming for success, entering spaces (and tax brackets) that weren't able to be accessed by our grandparents and sometimes our own parents, but struggle because we aren't taught the rules of 'the game' nor do we start out from a equal space than our colleagues. 
Imagine taking your 5 year old child, telling them they have learn all the 1st grade through 6th grade material at once in a room full of 11 year olds who are already dealing with advance placement work...
So we are forced to learn on our own and quickly, how to 'act' ,where to be authentic ourselves, which hairstyles to wear ,what to wear to off hours company events, hell how t…

So I did a thing.... Chapter 1

This is the story of how my life was changed (again) in a matter of a few months... Its taken a while to process everything that has happened in my healing, the journey and ultimately what is next for me ... So bare with me as I tell this LONG story, Ill include pictures though to make it kinda fun...I have dealt with a lot of depression and anxiety stemming from this entire situation because of things that went wrong, things that were left unattended (by my own hand) and ultimate outcome...But I want to share my story because I know that someone else is hurting in silence and could use some help. While I don't have all the answers ,or maybe any some days, I have my story
On February 19th at 12:30pm, I had 19cm/ 3.06 pound fibroid and 8+ pounds of excess skin removed in the same 6 hour long procedure.... Days later I had to have 2 blood transfusions due to the loss of blood in surgery and after.  Apparently things got scary (I didn’t know,I had a TON of morphine in my system ).

Chapter 6 .....Silvia

And just like that.... I had a date.

The scramble began, I had to cram 6-8 weeks of recovery plans in a matter of 10 days....

Oh, and  I mention this is my final semester of my degree?
So yea on top of working full time, trying to navigate through my interpersonal relationships,  and processing whatever is about to happen, I had to navigate what this could possibly look like for the last of my education.

I was extremely emotional at this point and probably closer to my breaking point that what I honestly wanted to admit..........
I was scared.
Scared of the pain, the recovery, the incision, hell how my body would look and feel because I had honestly just adjusted to the initial weight loss and of course dying.
While both procedures are fairly simple, its rare that they are done together....So I had no clue what to expect but that I was going to be in pain...
I got my tribe together for surgery/recovery plans, bought plenty of wine (they like red wine),and started really proc…