So I did a thing.... Chapter 2

March 2015

March 2019

On January 13, 2020, I saw my primary care physical who was in awe of my weight loss progress, and agreed that I was 'tiny' (in her defense, she has seen me over 300lbs and present for the weight battles). She advised that she would document the excess skin was ultimately holding up my progress, and I prepared to go on my way....Then I stopped, I asked her to feel my stomach because I had concerns about a hard spot I felt on my stomach that I assumed was scare tissue? Of course I came with a answer for my doctor, I mean what else would i be using that fashion degree for... She pressed on my stomach, said it wasn't a hernia nor was it any type of scar tissue, she ordered an ultrasound...........At that point my heart sank.

I went home to process what I was and was not told all while attempting to keep it all together...

What fun....

So I got my first ultrasound that week (which was a horrific experience, the tech asked alarming questions, went to get her boss, then sent me home), and my doctor called me personally...(Which was scary as hell , you know they don't call you AT NIGHT unless its a thing.. ).She called to tell me there was a 17 cm mass on my pelvis and while it looked like I was okay, I needed to have it checked out for confirmation, she would put orders in for me to see a specialist and have ANOTHER ultrasound for a better view.She advised me that I could proceed with the excess skin removal but it wouldn't be right until the mass was removed ....

I cried on my bathroom floor alone......

A mass? A specialist? Me?

Like how could this be happening to me? Not to say anyone else honestly deserved it but DAMN.

I had initially started the process of the weight loss in an effort to give birth with someone I thought was my forever, ironically I was no longer with that person and with a mass on my pelvis..(Ain't that a kick in the pants?.. I was shattered to say the least...I had accomplished so much in such a short amount of time and felt like I was being pushed back a million steps from where I actually started....
Shit, all I wanted was to have this skin removed so I could have a Hot Girl Graduation in May....

via GIPHY

A week later I saw a plastic surgeon, a tall thin middle eastern woman who took no shit regarding the excess skin being removed ,who also agreed that it was holding up my weight loss, but that the mass on my pelvis needed to be attended to first or else the results of her portion wouldn't look good. The plastic surgeon was straight to the point, knew her shit and gave me false expectations of what she was going to do... I honestly was a fan....For once in all of this, I had some real answers from someone. She was brief, but real.... I liked her.

A few days later I went to the second ultrasound appointment, which went over with a way better tech, who was extremely comforting, amazed at the size of the mass on my pelvis (19cm) ,a few hours later I went cross town for my visit for the specialist. The specialist and her team were amazing, they reviewed my charts, history, ultrasound and even congratulated me on my weight loss. They spoke to me as if they cared and saw that I was concerned. The doctor and her fellow asked me questions about my cycles, pain, family history that I knew of, etc. Obviously something that large had to have been there for a while, shown some type symptoms ,but I literally thought it was normal...

*Side note; I know what you are thinking, it sounds crazy that something so large would be sitting in my body and I didn't have it checked out. In my own defense, no woman has the same body or menstrual cycle and after 80/90 pound weight loss, your body kinda does its own thing .....

There was no one way to have properly navigated this...*

The doctor remain positive and fairly confident that this wasn't cancerous, that I could still have children (if it was what I wanted) but due to some things in my family history an MRI had to be ordered to completely rule out some things, advised that I should see her colleague who could complete the removal of the mass ,and that I was going to be okay...

Now....

Keep in mind that I've attended all of these visits alone, I suffer from mild anxiety and I'm still going to work, while taking classes, maintaining business as usual.... So imagine what fun I am having....