Skip to main content

So I did a thing.... Chapter 1

This is the story of how my life was changed (again) in a matter of a few months...
Its taken a while to process everything that has happened in my healing, the journey and ultimately what is next for me ... So bare with me as I tell this LONG story, Ill include pictures though to make it kinda fun...I have dealt with a lot of depression and anxiety stemming from this entire situation because of things that went wrong, things that were left unattended (by my own hand) and ultimate outcome...But I want to share my story because I know that someone else is hurting in silence and could use some help. While I don't have all the answers ,or maybe any some days, I have my story

On February 19th at 12:30pm, I had 19cm/ 3.06 pound fibroid and 8+ pounds of excess skin removed in the same 6 hour long procedure....
Days later I had to have 2 blood transfusions due to the loss of blood in surgery and after. 
Apparently things got scary (I didn’t know,I had a TON of morphine in my system ).

In the past year and half I have lost a decent amount of weight but no matter what could not make my ultimate weight loss goal...Which ultimately became just what it was. However, every 28 days I suffered from cycles that made me sick for the pain, the dizziness from the loss of the blood, depressed and they were heavy to the point that I barely could function to the point that I often would look for ANY excuse not to leave my house. 
Just like women of color before me and probably after me, I suffered in silence because I believed this was 'normal'.
I mean, what could possibly be wrong? I had labs run by my primary, felt 'good', and lived life regularly.... I attributed the changes in my body to just being post weight loss changes...




In November of 2019, I saw a plastic surgeon who agreed that it was time for my abdominal panniculus should be removed and was the excess weight that I was carrying. I was examined, photos were taken (my insurance company said 'send nudes" lol), it was confirmed that 'mass' that on my stomach was not a hernia, and my information was sent to the insurance company for approval. Nothing further was asked about a 'hard spot' on my belly....

I was approved for panniculectomy in Dec 2019, (and not notified by my insurance company, until I called them in Jan 2020) but the original surgeon I saw was out of the state until April 2020 .....

Comments

  1. Namasté my friend!

    Thank you for sharing Chapter 1 of Your(Her)Story. Eye appreciate you being so candid about this part of your journey.

    Although I cannot directly relate to the actual events that you experienced, eye definitely can relate to some of the lower frequency feelings of (hidden/masked) depression.

    Even if no one is physically around, we're never alone. #WeAreOne

    Eye love you.

    Peace, Love & Light,
    ������ #ThirdEye

    ReplyDelete
  2. Im happy you are sharing this journey!! Sometimes we have to go thru some of the worst things so that it can be a blessing for someone else...your story is needed and is necessary for another women in misery every month..not knowing what's "normal"...
    I'm in awe and inspired by how you handle your life..living it on your terms and doing every.single.thing. YOU want & need to live your BEST life!!! Proud of you and love you lots!! Cant wait to read the rest!!😘

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fashion cues for the Attractive and Mature....

For some reason everyone wants to claim to be 'grown and sexy'.....And for some reason cant dress the part... So Ive created my own phrase "this isnt for the grown and sexy,this is for the mature and attractive"....On the strength that those of us who actually are 'grown and sex' do not have to remind those around us EVERY 5 MINS or attend events named after this fad saying.....Attractive and mature have the form of dress that states it. So take these few helpful hints.... 1-Ladies;your jewelry needs to be simple and functional.A few simple pieces (not made of PLASTIC or from the hair store) say alot ....Perfect examples are.... a cocktail ring a silver 'return to Tiffany&co' bracelet or just something lite to put around your wrist a pearl necklace;classic AND sexy. a plain gold hoops <==NO,i repeat NO doorknockers a pearl earrings 2-Step your shoe game up,purchase a good CLASS pair of shoes What is a good pair of shoes you ask?A good pair of

The Normal Ones...

So of course every good blogger has these super glam photos posted on their blogs and IG. Like they look like they literally "woke up like this".... So if you know me, the glam thing you know that is a super stretch.. I'm normal at this point in life, I prefer leggings, Jordans and hoodie every chance I get... I have served my time in the club in 5-6 inch heels with the dresses short enough for my niece to wear. So when I sat down with my good friend, Chaz about doing photos for my blog I know I was probably every photographers nightmare. No, like seriously.... She asked about my ideas for my shoot, my visions, and I had nothing.. I mean I'm not a model? I like cookies too much....My 'sexy face' looks like I have something in my eye,lol So I did my own make up (scary, I know), Wore two of my favorite items; a denim shirt from Torrid (that my boobs are apparently too big for), and a tulle skirt from Zellie For She, And sat in front of the ca

Size and the standard of beauty ;The little girl in the pink jumper

So lately I've been battling with some deamons as far as my appearance..... As a bigger girl I have learned what can make or break you in terms of beauty..... Yet I still find it shocking when people find me attractive.I'm very shy,and often it hard to believe that people find me beautiful......I always resort back to moments of my childhood.... Picture this..... A chubby bubbly lite skin girl with braids and barettes in a pink and white shirt,deniem jumper,white socks,and pink/white nikes(eh I was a 90's kid) comes to her desk and sees a note.... "Dear Ashlei Will you be my girlfriend?" The little girl looks over to the most popular boy in class,who happens to be smiling at her from ear to ear.The youg girl sends a note back,"Yes"backwards "s" and all....Later on that day as the children file out of their lines for recess,the girls on one side stepping,playing house,and the boys on the other wresling,playing football,etc.....A yung ma