So as I stated in my previous blog I had weight loss surgery........
The experience itself has been....uhhh life changing to say the least. The physical (and mental changes ) have been...interesting, lol.
But one of my biggest challenges outside of my emotional changes has certainly been fielding questions and comments of others when they hear about my 'lifestyle change'. Until recently I have been fairly private about what I was doing and intrusive questions being part of the reason....
So I have created a list of things you should STOP saying to people after weight loss surgery...
Granted everyone is different but certain statements/ questions you should kind of use some kind of discernment because at the end of the day this is a medical procedure that deserves sensitivity like anything else .
- 'OMG, you weren't that big': The fact that you used the word 'that' means you have acknowledged my larger size (thanks,I guess) ,and unless you are a medical professional, your opinion isn't really needed
- 'Isn't this what you wanted?': I had expressed some concern with my body and mental changes, and I was hit with this question.... Yea, I wanted to be smaller, however I wasn't on board for losing my hair and my damn mind.
- 'How much have you lost?';This is one of my favorites...Please DO NOT EVER ASK ANYONE THIS SHIT, because it can be quickly turned around into a 'How much have you gained?' ( I am that person these days, proceed with caution).
- 'How much do you weigh?'; This is one of those questions you wouldn't have asked me as a pre opt size 22, so please DO NOT try it now..... This question can be extremely triggering to those who feel like they are not making their weight loss goal at a speed they want or see others lose.
- 'You know my baby mama sister auntie cousin Tracy had one of those surgeries ,and she gained her weight back'; First off, does Tracy know you are telling her business? Secondly there are 4 different types of WLS, and lastly, do not try to project whatever Tracy's experience is on me..
- 'You can't eat that'; Do not food police me, while I am sure the concern about what I consume is genuine, its simply none of your business....
- 'I know a girl who had that surgery, the doctor did this, and she died'; While I am sorry to hear of whomever, I am not her, her death is none of my business, and I hope her family sued....Please do not project the misfortunes of others on me and my journey.....This is a conversation I seem to be having more and more, the crazy part is the further I get into these conversations the less the actual deaths actually have to do with the damn surgery
- 'So when are you going to have kids?'; This question can be triggering for women who have or not had WLS period. Many wls patients have had issues with fertility stemming from their size and have opted this route in an effort to increase their chances which still might not even work....
- 'You gonna finish that?'; I cannot stand going out to eat and someone sitting cross from me stalking my plate. I purchase adult size plates and live off leftovers, now unless you have paid for my meal that's a different story.
- 'You look sick'; Most wls patients were sick prior to surgery...Sick with high blood pressure, diabetes ,high cholesterol ,etc. WLS gives alot of people the ability to live medication free.Most of us are freeing ourselves from generational curses, or attempting to at least.
- 'So what are you gonna do about ....': Stop asking people about hanging body parts, and plastic surgery, not only are drawing attention to changing body parts that are more than likely insecurity and random fact....plastic surgery is not covered by insurance
- 'I didn't think you were even big enough for one of those surgeries'; Most people think of these surgeries, think of 'My 600 pound life' and equate size to actual medical need. However there are several other factors that go into this, so trust no one is having this done for recreation because the insurance company damn sure wouldn't pay for it.
- 'You don't need to lose anymore weight': WL patients have goals, personal and medical. Your opinions of how much they should or need to lose to aesthetically please you is never mandatory ....Trust me. Furthermore, we often have control of the weight loss anyways.
While you may feel like you are just joking or realistically inquiring about someones new life, you could actually be triggering someone in an already sensitive time in their life.
All and all at this point in my journey I am able to express what I have done but still trying to respond to questions, comments and concerns about Sheliah (my stomachs new name) in a constructive manner, which is to be expected I suppose. But advise you all to proceed with caution when inquiring about someone who has gone through this.... I mean who seriously wants to be an insensitive asshole?