Skip to main content

Hat or Hood?

Dear Black Gay Men,
I love you,
You are valued,
You are Kings..

x0x0,
Cookii


This weeks attack on Jussie Smollett has left me sick to say the least....


*Prepare yourself for some more Cookii rambles...*

As a black woman I fear on the daily the fate of black men every time they leave their house,
As a friend to a lot of homosexual men, I worry about the world not seeing them for who they are and trying harm them because of who they love,
As a black woman with a lot of black male homosexual male friends, I fear the safety of my friends, brothers safety because they are not only black males, but also gay..... 

This attack has gone to show that this country has gone so far backwards that no matter how accomplished, how polished, how educated, how famous a black man is, he can still be the victim to someones caveman ass hatred.... He is still no higher than the derogatory slurs to describe him.

As we analyze this DOUBLE HATE crime, we see a divide in points of view.
An accomplished black man is recognized from his show, attacked, slurs regarding his race and sexuality are yelled, poured bleach on him  and a noose is put around his neck by men who claim 'MAGA' like its a street gang?
As I scrolled through social media, I watched white LGBT America call it a hate crime because he was gay, completely neglecting the fact that he is indeed a BLACK MAN,
 I watched black America call it a racist attack because he was black, 
I watched people who have never spoke out on an LGBT issue act like they were outraged by such a hate crime, (you know the ones that only cared because he is on Empire and have ignored the alarming numbers of trans women killed regularly)
I saw Queer POCs express feeling unsafe because of the attack on both, and a strong sense of 'if it could happen to him.....'
My heart sunk because even in this moment of sadness, in tragedy, there is still such a divide in this country, between minorities that we still can't see the core issue in this...... 
This is a crime of hatred on multiple levels, and none of which should be left out.

Never once in the history of this country have crimes against POCs ever been committed in the name of a President....And here we are in 2019 dealing with the same level of hate of our grandparents.....
As a millennial, I have the luxury to have seen gay marriage become legal, a black president,  interrogated schools ,etc. 
I was fortunate to have grown up in a suburb of Cleveland that encouraged diversity,and acceptance. 
I never understood the ideal of homophobia or racism, because my parents did not tolerate it.
I've played sports, sang with and sold girl scout cookies with children of all colors.
Hell ,as a child my dad said our home looked 'The United Nations' when our friends came over.
This is scary, and unacceptable. 
This isn't the life we, millennials know, and with the advances we have, that our grandparents didn't have...
It can only get worse and we are only two years in.
I pray that days of white hoods  red hats, walls and MAGA are soon behind us ,and that this country starts to heal as the cheeto moves out.

While there is part of me that is fed up.
Fed up with the treatment of the black LGBTs, who are often treated lower than  second class citizens because the face discrimination from everyone (white America, black America, the LGBT community- yea I said it, etc) 
Fed up with the treatment of POCs at the hand of fragile cisgender heterosexual white American males 
Fed up with the fact that POC men will kill each other over colors, yet won't touch the oppressor,
Fed up with homophobia, like seriously how gay is it that you are concerned with what two other people are doing in their bedroom.... if its not effecting your bag or salvation, why do you care?
Fed up with being fed up.... Tired of fearing for the lives of myself and people who look like me 

While I am NOT an advocate for violence, I am firm believer in the right to bear arms especially for female,POC, and LGBT communities. Trust and believe those red hats are not subs for bulletproof vest.With the alarming number of crimes against unarmed trans women,or just women in general, I am interested in knowing why our local LGBT and community centers do not host CCW and self defense classes.....Why? At what point do we take back our lives?

I have struggled all day with finishing this blog, because I'm just tired.
With talks of walls, red hats, MAGA, shutdowns, hate crimes...... I just don't even want to be on this planet anymore....


I wonder if my job can transfer me to Jupiter?




This post is dedicated to my snack pack from Cle to HTX to Col,
I love y'all.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The tale of two identities.

As children, most of us are raised to go to college, get good jobs and strive for greatness.

As black children, most of us are raised to go to college, be better than 'them' so you can't be denied, strive for greatness and act accordingly in spaces that are not our own.

As a lot of us grow up, we take heed to our lessons, aiming for success, entering spaces (and tax brackets) that weren't able to be accessed by our grandparents and sometimes our own parents, but struggle because we aren't taught the rules of 'the game' nor do we start out from a equal space than our colleagues. 
Imagine taking your 5 year old child, telling them they have learn all the 1st grade through 6th grade material at once in a room full of 11 year olds who are already dealing with advance placement work...
So we are forced to learn on our own and quickly, how to 'act' ,where to be authentic ourselves, which hairstyles to wear ,what to wear to off hours company events, hell how t…

So I did a thing.... Chapter 1

This is the story of how my life was changed (again) in a matter of a few months... Its taken a while to process everything that has happened in my healing, the journey and ultimately what is next for me ... So bare with me as I tell this LONG story, Ill include pictures though to make it kinda fun...I have dealt with a lot of depression and anxiety stemming from this entire situation because of things that went wrong, things that were left unattended (by my own hand) and ultimate outcome...But I want to share my story because I know that someone else is hurting in silence and could use some help. While I don't have all the answers ,or maybe any some days, I have my story
On February 19th at 12:30pm, I had 19cm/ 3.06 pound fibroid and 8+ pounds of excess skin removed in the same 6 hour long procedure.... Days later I had to have 2 blood transfusions due to the loss of blood in surgery and after.  Apparently things got scary (I didn’t know,I had a TON of morphine in my system ).
I…

Chapter 6 .....Silvia

And just like that.... I had a date.

The scramble began, I had to cram 6-8 weeks of recovery plans in a matter of 10 days....

Oh, and  I mention this is my final semester of my degree?
So yea on top of working full time, trying to navigate through my interpersonal relationships,  and processing whatever is about to happen, I had to navigate what this could possibly look like for the last of my education.

via GIPHY
I was extremely emotional at this point and probably closer to my breaking point that what I honestly wanted to admit..........
I was scared.
Scared of the pain, the recovery, the incision, hell how my body would look and feel because I had honestly just adjusted to the initial weight loss and of course dying.
While both procedures are fairly simple, its rare that they are done together....So I had no clue what to expect but that I was going to be in pain...
I got my tribe together for surgery/recovery plans, bought plenty of wine (they like red wine),and started really proc…