Skip to main content

Mo' money, Same problems....

One of the reasons I LOVE Cardi B is because she is as she describes a 'regular regular' girl.

via GIPHY

But with that comes 'regular' problems.... girl drama (Nickii), 'haters' and issues with husbands/partners.

via GIPHY

Now don't get me wrong, I was totally #teamBarSet until I watched him exhibit the same disturbing  behaviors that I (and a ton of other women) was healing from myself.



The shit is mad toxic.
I was recently at a party and explained WHY the #barSet drama was so triggering  to women (or people in general) and why people cared, simply as this ; 

While celebs are regular people are the end of the day, we often watch their lives on social media as a release from our own. I mean seriously wouldn't you rather escape your paper pushing to ride on private jets and shopping? 

Right, I digress

Secondly, most women have been in Cardi's position, just not with such expensive make up gestures or embarrassment on an international level.... So watching a woman who spent the past almost two years winning, and having the fairytale we all wanted on some level get shitted on is like reopening a wound.. It can be simply off-putting for those of us working hard to 'have it all'. 

And then there is Offset....
While I applaud the public efforts to get his wife and family back, I (like most ) am not impressed by any of his fuck boy deluxe antics..... And find it all to be super selfish honestly....
Between the public posts causing more drama and attention while this woman is working while grieving the loss of her relationship, the fact that he needed to disrupt her while she was at work by coming on stage during one of the biggest performances of her career (stealing her moment as FIRST WOMAN to headline Rolling Loud) and lastly all of this drama MONTHS after she had his baby while she could very well be battling postpartum depression (yall forget women of color get that too) shows a blatant lack of regard for her, her health and her career.

I mean seriously, he called her 'bruh' in his PUBLIC APOLOGY 

I know I may sound like I am dragging this, but ask yourself this, would his public apology while she was at work would be as cute, if Cardi B was in a boardroom? courtroom? call center? 
No, it wouldn't.
Offset is a brutal reminder that no matter how much money or how well a woman does for herself, she can still be subjected to undeserved bullshit at the hands of someone who 'loves' her. For a week this man has been putting on this show for all of the world but has yet to acknowledge the root of the problem; the cheating, and lying. Offset has been making solo decisions while in a whole partnership, leaving Cardi to be the one to 'save face' and be graceful while the world is watching her be done so wrong..... 

I have dated Offset (well not literally but stay with me)....
I was romantically involved on an emotional rollercoaster with someone who cheated, embarrassed me, and lied to me.....My 'Offset' gave me the same make up gestures, just at a lower price point; the flowers, gifts ,and social media post, but none of which ended up meaning much, because the moment I lowered my guard, I was slapped with more of those same behaviors that lead us down our path of destruction.  I am at the point of my healing that I don't completely blame  my 'Offset' for where we are at this point in life, I know that I could have made better choices in our situation, like not listening to friends and family when I was told I should stay (something Cardi is obviously being given since it was her PR that walked him out last night). While her circumstances are slightly different, I was not married nor did i have a child with my 'Offset', so Cardi will have to have an actual exit strategy , when I could have just left during the first situation. 
I have been Cardi before, taking up for someone who had no issue doing me wrong because I assumed we shared a mutual love for each other, all while subconsciously ruining my self esteem trying to figure out what made this person do me wrong, doing more, giving more of myself because I thought that could fix things between us when in all actuality, this person didn't love me enough to 'fix' us (or maybe even themselves on some level).

While I completely side with Cardi because I been her, I still want Offset to do better because he has a little girl who make decisions on love based on how she sees her mother being treated .

Do it for the Kulture.





Comments

  1. Well said!!!! Do better Offset...and that’s w/o the audience.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Omg that apology was the worse thing ever. He then was really horrible by coming on stage at rolling loud . Very toxic and trash .

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fashion cues for the Attractive and Mature....

For some reason everyone wants to claim to be 'grown and sexy'.....And for some reason cant dress the part... So Ive created my own phrase "this isnt for the grown and sexy,this is for the mature and attractive"....On the strength that those of us who actually are 'grown and sex' do not have to remind those around us EVERY 5 MINS or attend events named after this fad saying.....Attractive and mature have the form of dress that states it. So take these few helpful hints.... 1-Ladies;your jewelry needs to be simple and functional.A few simple pieces (not made of PLASTIC or from the hair store) say alot ....Perfect examples are.... a cocktail ring a silver 'return to Tiffany&co' bracelet or just something lite to put around your wrist a pearl necklace;classic AND sexy. a plain gold hoops <==NO,i repeat NO doorknockers a pearl earrings 2-Step your shoe game up,purchase a good CLASS pair of shoes What is a good pair of shoes you ask?A good pair of

I kinda did a thing......Nothing major...

  Class of 2020 Photo credit Natasha Herbert

The tale of two identities.

As children, most of us are raised to go to college, get good jobs and strive for greatness. As black children, most of us are raised to go to college, be better than 'them' so you can't be denied, strive for greatness and act accordingly in spaces that are not our own. As a lot of us grow up, we take heed to our lessons, aiming for success, entering spaces (and tax brackets) that weren't able to be accessed by our grandparents and sometimes our own parents, but struggle because we aren't taught the rules of 'the game' nor do we start out from a equal space than our colleagues.  Imagine taking your 5 year old child, telling them they have learn all the 1st grade through 6th grade material at once in a room full of 11 year olds who are already dealing with advance placement work... So we are forced to learn on our own and quickly, how to 'act' ,where to be authentic ourselves, which hairstyles to wear ,what to wear to off hours company events,