How often have we met someone with a life sob story that we indulge in only to get screwed over or even worse screwed up by their drama?
Or better yet, how many times have we been involved in some type of relationship (friend or romantic) with an individual that enjoyed the peace,love and wellness that comes with being associated with us only for them to return to the hell or toxic behaviors that they were involved in (and probably content with) prior to experiencing our space..... Often leaving us (and our space) in shambles because they have used us as vacation space or a rehab to escape whatever their reality was that they are ultimately going to return to whether they plan to or not.
We strive so hard to create spaces of peace and love for ourselves (and those closest to us) that we cannot be rehab centers for others when it takes from ourselves. I mean once we have saved, rebuilt and loved those who enter our shelter who does the same when they have destroyed our place?
So instead we become victims, unintentional victims who often don't get to fully process our pain because we by nature heal those around us... We wear our capes on our back, all while hiding the heart on our sleeves. While I understand that I am by nature (and no real desire of my own to be completely honest) a lover and a healer, I have started trying to not make my space so accessible to the masses. I cannot be anyone elses vacation from their reality without preserving my safe place for myself.
At this point in my life, I finally realized that the only person who needs shelter in my safe place is ....me.
With all this being said..... the funniest part of this whole post is, as I type this out, knowing that this is best for me (and alot of you reading this)....
I feel bad,I actually feel bad for caring for myself and my space...
Crazy shit, aint it?