Skip to main content
Let me ask you something...

Yea, YOU.

If God (or whatever you believe in ) were to send you the ideal partner you asked for...

Would you even be prepared?

This is a question I have asked probably a half a dozen times because its a real question.... Are we really prepared for what we ask for? Or is this another case of 'be careful for what you wish for.. You might just get it'?

Like seriously, we ask for someone that we can love, who can love us, all while not being mentally, or financially  prepared for that individual? Do we continue being who we are despite not being what they need to maintain what we ask for or do we eventually step out our comfort zone to attempt to grow in the direction needed to cultivate the relationship we desire?

I say this, because I have been talking to a friend of mine (gotta love my friends, they are normally the source for most of my blogs),she recently broke up with a woman she had been seeing in an attempt to find herself ... But this was only after several months of incidents that damaged  her relationship with this young woman. She admits to having drop the ball a few times while she date someone she described as a 'good' woman and claims never having intentions on hurting her. So when I asked her why it took her so long to figure out what she needed, or why was doing this, when she spoke so highly of this lady, the one she said she prayed for....


She told me, she needed to find herself and didn't want to lose the girl. 

She said that she had indeed prayed for this girl, but just couldn't seem to stop messing up?

I sat and listened to her pour her heart about this woman who she had seemed to share some really good times with...... It was almost like she was sabotaging her own happiness with someone she asked for? Someone she honestly seemed to love and really loved her?


But why?

Was she a coward for running away from what she subconsciously wanted (and probably needed) or was she actually brave enough to sacrifice a relationship to save herself? Was she selfish for attempting to hold on to this woman knowing she couldn't give her what was needed of her? I am not sure which one it could possibly be, I guess it may actually just depend on who you may ask.

Which brings me to my original question....
Are we truly prepare to meet who we desire?

Or are we just infatuated with the idea of being #goals or whatever else our generation deems cool for the moment? Will we forever play the game of Romantic Russian Roulette with what we desire/need and what we commit to? Targeting those who have no interest in indulging in the destruction that we do?

I know it seems like Im asking a ton of questions, but stay with me 

I mean we have all asked ourselves or someone else for that matter these things at some point in our romantic lives....

So at what point do we just stop the madness and live in what we desire?



Comments

  1. This is interesting. Self should didnt prepare as much as possible for whatever your asking for

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The tale of two identities.

As children, most of us are raised to go to college, get good jobs and strive for greatness.

As black children, most of us are raised to go to college, be better than 'them' so you can't be denied, strive for greatness and act accordingly in spaces that are not our own.

As a lot of us grow up, we take heed to our lessons, aiming for success, entering spaces (and tax brackets) that weren't able to be accessed by our grandparents and sometimes our own parents, but struggle because we aren't taught the rules of 'the game' nor do we start out from a equal space than our colleagues. 
Imagine taking your 5 year old child, telling them they have learn all the 1st grade through 6th grade material at once in a room full of 11 year olds who are already dealing with advance placement work...
So we are forced to learn on our own and quickly, how to 'act' ,where to be authentic ourselves, which hairstyles to wear ,what to wear to off hours company events, hell how t…

So I did a thing.... Chapter 1

This is the story of how my life was changed (again) in a matter of a few months... Its taken a while to process everything that has happened in my healing, the journey and ultimately what is next for me ... So bare with me as I tell this LONG story, Ill include pictures though to make it kinda fun...I have dealt with a lot of depression and anxiety stemming from this entire situation because of things that went wrong, things that were left unattended (by my own hand) and ultimate outcome...But I want to share my story because I know that someone else is hurting in silence and could use some help. While I don't have all the answers ,or maybe any some days, I have my story
On February 19th at 12:30pm, I had 19cm/ 3.06 pound fibroid and 8+ pounds of excess skin removed in the same 6 hour long procedure.... Days later I had to have 2 blood transfusions due to the loss of blood in surgery and after.  Apparently things got scary (I didn’t know,I had a TON of morphine in my system ).
I…

Chapter 6 .....Silvia

And just like that.... I had a date.

The scramble began, I had to cram 6-8 weeks of recovery plans in a matter of 10 days....

Oh, and  I mention this is my final semester of my degree?
So yea on top of working full time, trying to navigate through my interpersonal relationships,  and processing whatever is about to happen, I had to navigate what this could possibly look like for the last of my education.

via GIPHY
I was extremely emotional at this point and probably closer to my breaking point that what I honestly wanted to admit..........
I was scared.
Scared of the pain, the recovery, the incision, hell how my body would look and feel because I had honestly just adjusted to the initial weight loss and of course dying.
While both procedures are fairly simple, its rare that they are done together....So I had no clue what to expect but that I was going to be in pain...
I got my tribe together for surgery/recovery plans, bought plenty of wine (they like red wine),and started really proc…