Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Growth.....

If I have learned nothing in almost thirty years of life, I have learned that growth is inevitable.

You grow taller (and sometimes wider),

You grow out of clothes and trends (and be honest you didn't really want to wear that Spice Girls t-shirt from middle school anyways.....)
You grow apart from friends (and sometimes lovers).....

But growth is a sign of being alive, and truthfully progression.... Or at least it should be.


I had a long talk with a good friend of mine about the progression he wants for himself in the next two years and the steps he is taking to make these things happen..... Which made me really happy because so often we get caught up in circles of people who plan to (turn up), but no plans to grow.... I've watched him grow from a some what shy guy with the nice smile to a great man with career goals and ambitions....


This mornings conversation was certainly comforting because of my own struggles with the direction of my growth....


I often battle with the feelings like I am in the 'remedial' class of life because most of the young women I grew up with are having babies, getting married,etc all before 30.....


And then there is Ash....... 

Happy hours start to get a little lonely,when most of your friends are breast feeding and rushing home to cook dinner for their families.....


Girls night out are certainly far and few between when there is a scramble for babysitters



And then there is Ash.....

So of course ,I started to question the progression of my own growth.......


Well until.....

 I realized that I was uncomfortable in my situation (career,health, mental,romantic,etc) and made the steps to  change that situation....

I made an effort to seek more career opportunities for advancement in my current organization  and seriously talked to my boss about what I needed to do to make these things happen (which worked to my favor because he is extremely on board, thanks CK!)
I looked at myself and what common variables where happening in the demise of prior romantic relationships (well besides me dating people who totally didn't get how amazing I am,duh.). Instead of continuing to blame for whatever, I thought about what I could have done differently in the situation, and took the lesson for what it was, so it could happen differently next time.
For once in my life I have a real savings accountS.....Like with actual money, not just the $20.74 that I needed to keep it open. I have challenged myself to save for just a rainy day, and still managed to do most of whatever I have wanted without touching it.
I started giving less time to draining situations (and people) who choose not to invest the same energy that I give them..... I realized how precious my mental health is and how some people can unintentionally harm it....
I changed my eating (and drinking ) habits, I invest the same money that I would spend on margaritas in fruits,veggies and chia seeds....Its not easy, and I'd be lying if I didn't say that I don't occasionally have a few slices of pizza and wine cooler, but its now a treat and not part of life...... I am no longer over 300lbs .
I started to restructure my circle, combining new and classic (never old) friends to give me balance and different perspectives on life, love, careers,etc.
I have started to take chances, and not be afraid of mistakes (or prepare for consequences of them)...No longer can fear or comfort rule my path.....


This mornings conversation reminded me as down as I can get about the progress about my growth,being uncomfortable and  me how far I am going to go.....




'Take chances, make mistakes, get messy' 
- Ms. Frizzle







1 comment:

  1. Beautiful post! Your perspective is AMAZING to view..here and in real life...my babe has an awesome TiTi and I have an awesome sister#!! Love you and I Thank you

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