Sunday, April 12, 2015

Am I the only one?

Part of my internal struggle with my blog is the fact that people I know actually read it on the regular.....So it makes it a bit much to write about my love life,friendships,etc...

How would you like reading your ex-girlfriends personal thoughts about you,your relationship,your break up,etc on social media? I mean not on a typical emotional post on Facebook or IG with a super direct quote and a picture of Drake but on a real .com address........Sounds wrong,right?
But on the flip side of that I tend to stay away from posting any current love interest just in case it all goes sour there is no face to later post and possible adult drama (which is very similar to middle school drama).... Perfect example one ex told me that years ago they wanted to sue me because of a post on myspace post break up, I couldn't even be mad,due to the fact that I don't even remember what I said? But hey,I'm not mad,words do hurt....I digress though.....

But today after a conversation about my love life, or lack of I realized a few things......

(Note:the following analysis is not a social attack on any of my exs.....)

I have dated a few 'serial monogamist'*,which is pretty sad because I'd like to think I have a pretty good bullshit meter.....Then there are my 'blast from the past' exs,who are typically some of my favorites because the fact that I'm super familiar with them,and that 90 day honeymoon period doesn't have to happen. But on the flip side of that they almost never work out for one of two reasons, either the original issues we had are STILL an issue, or we have both changed so much as individuals that we still can't get it right,lol...These are however some of the most dependable ex-s in my case,well at least for friendship purposes after the smoke clears?.....There is also the 'oh why the hell not?', this is the person I know I probably shouldn't be dating,and that it won't work out but I do it anyways most likely to kill time.....And lastly there is the 'we don't need to talk' ex, this ex is the one that I shouldn't even speak of because every time we contact each other, NO GOOD comes of it.This is only because it all could go one of two ways, we argue only to figure out why it didn't work out OR ,and this is one of my favorites, we causally play a comforting temporary role in each others life when needed and NOTHING comes of it, this ex can't really be confused with 'blast from the past', while they are very similar they are super different.....



I suppose all these separate situations have helped me learn as to what I do(and don't) like and what I am interested in or they are proof that I should be Jaisen's spinster aunt with the house full of pit bulls....... I often wonder, am I the only one with these ex-s?



I have also learned that self reflection is the best lesson on happiness.....In hindsight you learned what didn't work,make you happy,etc.... So at 28 soon to be 29, I have learned about what makes me happy and certainly what doesn't..... In this aspect,I have matured, years ago I remember being bitter about love and relationships .The truth is,I was bitter thinking it was the fault of the other party,but it was me, allowing myself to be trapped in unhealthy,or unhappy relationships. Now that I have taken time to learn how to place people(certainly romantic interest) in my life,I feel more confident in my choices to or not to date...


....................And for this I'm better for it.










*serial monogamist

function: noun 
one who spends as little time as possible being single, moving from the end of one relationship to the beginning of a new relationship as quickly as possible 

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