Thursday, March 5, 2015

A fluffy girl who may not be a fluffy woman anymore....

I've written many blogs about being plus size, the battle of my weight ,going to the gym,etc....
And honestly I love me,so what I am getting ready to say is super weird...

I have been considering the possibility of gastric bypass?
No, no one has made me feel bad about me
No, I don't hate myself 
No, I'm not being pressured by anyone I'm dating
No, I'm not considering it to get anyone to date me.


....Its a mental battle that I think almost every plus size woman has?
What would life be like, if I was smaller? 

I have toyed with the idea for the past three years... And often put it out of my mind because people in my circle talked me out of it, or assure me that I was attractive the way I was and often condone my out of control eating, and late night drinking.
Then I thought about it, me not getting it because I'm being told that I am attractive, is almost as bad as me getting it because I am told I am not. This is something that has to be done for me,IF I choose to do it?
After introducing the initial idea to my doctor,well needless to say like most she was not pleased with the possibility that her patient would possibly go under the knife (which was really no surprise because she isn't a major pill pushed,unnecessary test kind of doctor... and for that I love her). She said its an option to visit and gastric is a better option for me because I probably wouldn't be excited with results of the other surgeries?


And that's where I am right now..... Thinking, and if you know me...well you know that's no minor thing...

Do I?
Don't I?
Is it really safe?
Am I ready to change?
Can I have kids after?
Do I really want kids?
Am I really ready for this?

And of course...the most important question..... Can I afford all the new clothes I will have to buy?

I am doing some serious soul searching about this, and plan to make the best decision for me/ my life...

We will see how this goes...


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