Saturday, August 18, 2018

Dear #airportAlan

Dear  #airportAlan, 
Your video was sent to me a few times yesterday, and I can't lie seeing you (what I presume as a cisgender, heterosexual white male) being tackled to the ground was slightly amusing....
Then you said something that struck a nerve... 
As you begged ,and screamed in fear...
Now, I don't know the reason as to why your altercation with the police started but let me fill you in on a few things... you know, coming from a BLACK PERSON....
  • If you were treated like a black person...... Those same three officers wouldn't been half as gentle. Yea, I said it GENTLE. They would have called for about 2 more officers and you would have been instantly kicked, punched, and choked from every angle. 
  • If you were treated like a black person.....Pepper spray wouldn't have been held inches from your face, it would have been a gun.... 
  • If you were treated like a black person..... You would be a hashtag, your family would be holding a press confrence begging for justice, your murders would be on vacation (I mean 'administrative leave') and if the case ever went to trial it would be 14months to 2 years later .
I've crossed paths with a lot of men like you, Alan. 
Fragile men whose biggest issue in life is trying to figure out which Izod button up you are going to wear, men who simply voted for Donald Trump because you refused to cross party lines despite knowing better, the kind of men that think Colin is 'just making a fuss with this those whole protest thing', the kind of men who instantly become tense when a black man comes in the room but LOVE Lebron and Steph Curry ,you know the kind of men who couldn't possibly be racist because you have 'black friends', but never actually invited one in your home.

You made your statement in an effort to get attention, and to mock the men and women who have been murdered at the hands of those we pay out our tax dollars to 'protect and serve' us all. 

When you said those words you didn't see Philando Castile's girlfriend and child's faces in your head,
When you said those words you didn't speak Alton Sterling, Eric Garner, Jamar Clarke,Walter Scott, Eric Harris ,Tamir Rice, or Michael Brown's names.
When you you said those words, you didn't think of our men, women and babies (because yes they kill our BABIES) as actual humans who are murdered in alarming rates on camera with no justice being served. 

Your statement not only exposes the  harsh realities of unjust treatment of POC (People of Color) as a standard but the fact that you could say it so comfortably from a place of privilege and live to see another day is almost a slap in the face to everyone person of color who has lost their lives in situations similar to this.
Hell, your statement exposed the fact that there is an expectation that white males  in the airport should be treated differently than black people in the airport.

We don't live in same Amerikkka, Alan.....
I hope for your sake you never have to visit ours, its obvious you wouldn't last.

Sincerely yours, 

Thursday, August 16, 2018

August is Black Business Month...

So apparently August is BLACK BUSINESS MONTH, and no one told me.....
( I swear I'm late to everything) 

In honor of BBM, I want to shout out 31 of my FAVORITE BLACK BUSINESSES in no particular order of course because honestly I could never rate these amazing individuals ....

Note: Alot of these are my own personal contacts...... 
So sue me, I gotta good BLACK lawyer  

1. Beatrice Dixon, owner of The Honey Pot Feminine care products 
This black owned line of care products are vegan,fragrence free, sulfate free , paraben free and safe girls/teens too.You can find these dope products in your local Target and Whole Foods!
Click here to receive 20% your purchase of these amazing washes, pads and lady wipes! 
Promo code FRIEND-26RZ5XN

2. Jessesca Dupart, owner of Kaleidoscope Hair Products
Now you know this lady holds a special place in my heart ,after seeing her speak last February for FREE (and she has grown half of black America's edges back after Beyonce snatches them on the regular ).This hair mogul turned inspirational speaker is the owner of Kaleidoscope Hair Products , you know the one that sells Miracle Drops?  She has an entire line of amazing products for all different hair types! 

3.Kashmir Thompson, owner of Kashmir. VIII 
If you ever been to my home or seen me out, you will probably notice her art. From shower curtains to tote bags, Thompson's eye catching original art work is always a statement in any from. Her pieces are always super fun, bright and of course original.
This black girl is truly magical (maybe its because she is from Cleveland) 

4. Raynell 'Supa' Steward ,owner of The Crayon Case
From 'Kitchen Nightmare' to owning a successful cosmetic company, The Crayon Case. I couldn't possibly not mention IG celeb turn businesswoman, 'Supa'. Ive followed this woman for YEARS listening to her hilarious tales #storytimeWithSupa, to watching her family grow along with her business. This woman has capitalized off of being candid, unapologetic, and authentic. 

5. Shalah Turner, owner of Conscious Consulting 
She is a business woman, a college graduate, a Delta, a world changer,native Clevelander and a mom....And that's just what she does during the week (outside of the mom gig). She is your favorite rappers consultant and helps feed a few thousand people everything thanksgiving.I have had the pleasure of knowing this woman on a personal level and watched her conduct business with the same grace, and passion that she gives on a personal level. Her and her team offer everything to get your business off to right start from business strategy to project management .
If you are interested in taking your business to the next level click here for more details

6. Mary 'Mz Skittlez' Seats,owner of Cupcake Mafia 
Another Cleveland girl making magic on multiple levels. If you are from Cleveland, you probably remember her humble beginnings as a local rapper (you know, Skittlez with the colorful hair!), well she is now an author of two books,the owner of Cupcake Mafia, Icing Agency and investor to her daughters business, The Zoey Amore collection (how many infants do you know with their own business?).

7. Patryce Critz, owner of Blended Candles Co. 
This awesome New Jersey native is the owner of a small company that literally has every scent you could possibly think of ..If she doesn't have it, trust you can request it! 

 8. Natasha Herbert, owner of Natasha Herbert Photography  
Remember that couple that did an Michelle and Barack Obama theme engagement shoot?
Yea, that was Natasha Herbert.
She is an artist, a visual storyteller, 5 star vender on The Knot,lover of love in all forms, and booked up for probably the next two years,lol. 

9. Chef Linda Berry, owner of Chef Linda Berry Catering 
Some people make art, some people can cook... Chef Berry has mastered both. Berry offers catering, personal chef services and cooking classes. This amazing chef multiple degrees and certifications paired with her love for good food, this beauty is a beast in the kitchen. 

10. Brittney Penn, owner of Lace Xclusive  
This New Orleans native is the one behind alot of the signature looks from the gorgeous King Amyiah. Remember those beautiful healthy looking 40 inch bundles, and all that brazilian hair that was colored (and stayed FLAWLESS).... Yea, you guess it, those were Lace Xclusive bundles. Penn is not only a successful business owner, but also a mom to three , college grad and wife. Lace Xclusive not only offers amazing virgin hair but exceptional and reliable customer service..... 

11.Chef Eric Roger, owner of Black Box Fix  
When you come to Cleveland, after you see the Rock Hall, the Indians ,the Cavs, your next stop has to be Black Box Fox (The Fresh Fix, or Sweet Fix). This dedicated father, husband and chef is the specializes comfort food for almost every palette. 

12. Monif Clarke, owner of Monifc.Com 
If Barbados didn't give us nothing else, they gave us Monif C (and Rihana of course). Clarke has been a leading trendsetter in plus size fashion for over 10 years. Trailblazing  the industry of plus size ready to wear fashion.

13. Teyana Taylor, owner of Junie Bee Nailz 
While she is the owner of Junie Bee's, this is totally not why she made my list...
No shade, No T 
(After the way sis dragged ole boy who should not be named,I don't want no smoke with Petunia )
This woman literally stopped and restarted her tour in a matter of 48 hours, while still keeping her dates (possibly adding new ones.... Sis, come back to the Land, we miss you), fans happy and team on the road.... If that isn't a boss move, I'm not sure what is..
Keep that same energy, T.

14. Ashley Hairs, Mua and Vlogger for FashnJunkie 
I have worked with a few make up artist in my day, and she is definitely one of my favorite go to artist (and not just because sis is one of nearest and dearest ). She is a self taught artist who can literally teach herself anything from acrylic nails, to the newest hair style to sewing a dress. Her channel is humorous,informative and always on trend. 
15. Tanisha Jamison, owner of Shaker Child Enrichment Center 
This mom of three and newlywed is the owner of a daycare in Shaker Heights, Ohio. SCEC offers reliable , safe, fun care for infants to school age children. SCEC is a Step to Quality 3 Star award winner.

16. Ariq Barrett, owner of Black Kids Can Cook 
Chef Ariq is a Philly native who simply wanted more for his community. This father of two and husband has successfully run several non profit events for Philly. Black Kidz Can Cook is a community program teaching young chefs recipes, food safety, budgeting, entrepreneurship ,all while empowering each little chef's self esteem. This program runs all summer in the city of Philadelphia .

17. Sean Coleman, owner of Destination Tomorrow
Sean Coleman heard his community cry, and wiped its tears. After realizing a need for a safe place for the underserved LGBT youth in the Bronx, Destination Tomorrow was born. Destination Tomorrow offers a wide variety of programs the LGBT community including (but not limited to); technology instruction, finical literacy, trans healthcare clinics, support groups, 'KiKi' balls, etc. 
18. Ieshia Leverette, Realtor
This proud military spouse and mom of 2 adorable girls is a realtor super woman! She has taken her experience as a military wife and turned into a lucrative business assisting military (and civilian) families find their dream homes. Leverette is a Military Relocation Professional, and a proud member of the Veteran Affairs Real Estate professionals. Ieshia is based out the Virginia area.

19. Jeremy McBryde, owner of Comfort La
Cleveland native (I'm trying to tell y'all, we breed greatness out here ), actor and now restaurant owner, Jeremy McBryde is the owner of one of LA's best restaurants, Comfort La. With the a colorful staff , laid back atmosphere and amazing menu, you can't help but to find a bit of comfort with McBryde in LA.

20. Kelli Lee, Author and Owner of Third Eye Unblind
This talented Houston resident offers custom greeting cards, tarot card readings, poetry and blood type research. She has recently released her self published book, Daily Free Poems.

21. Ashleigh Fehr, Realtor
This Georgia based realtor offers beautiful homes, and top notch service in Atlanta/ surrounding areas. She is a strong negotiator  , area expert and trusted resource.

22. Will Jones, owner of Earl X
Artist, Will Jones specializes in vibrant acrylic paintings that make a beautiful addition to any home or office. 

Chef Geoff Thomas one of Cleveland top young chefs is a husband,dog owner and owner to three establishments . His food affordable and tasty.
This man makes one hell of a taco bar.

24 Camille Janei, owner of Eye Love by Camille Janei 
'I believe that everyone should be their own kind of beautiful because bold eyebrows never hurt anyone'  
Camille Janei is a Howard and Aveda graduate who owns her own, by invitation only luxury brow studio in Cleveland,Ohio. Her business is not limited to just brows, she offers lashes, microblading, and body waxing 

25.  Hope Redd, Realtor 
Hope Redd is a realtor servicing the Cleveland,Ohio area. Redd specializes in property management , first time buyers and dream homes. 

26. Chasity Montgomery, owner of Train Pretty With Chas
Chas is a Cleveland based fitness instructor and health coach. She teaches classes with her community, 'The Pretty Squad' that makes working out fun yet effective.Chas mixes muscle building work outs with a healthy amount of twerking that make her clients feel sexy and free. 

27. Greg Tillery, owner of We Dat Food Truck.
Tillery is actually no longer the owner of We Dat Food Truck, but owner of two locations of We Dat in New Orleans,LA. I had the pleasure of stopping by last march on .75 wing Tuesday, and when I tell you i think I got racnch dressing in my hair....Yea, the food was that good. If have a hard night in NOLA don't worry, they are on UberEats!

28. Ming Lee, owner of Snob Life 
Ming Lee is owner, stylist hair mogul and now new mom. She has certainly set the standard for elite beauty products in the Atlanta area, and certainly all over. She has expanded way past just virgin hair, and gone into books, lashes,lipglossetc. 

29. CeeJay the Mua, owner of Ceejay The Mua 
Chicago resident and mom of twin, Ceejay offer personable, and fun beauty experience. CeeJay has an extensive portfolio including  celebrity, bridal end editorial. Outside of working for herself she has  worked for Sephora, MAC,Ulta, Estee Lauder,etc.

29. Dru Thompson, owner of Dru Christine Fabrics and Design 
Thompson is a designer, entrepreneur,mentor and instructor in the Cleveland area. She runs a shop that offers her own designs, vintage items, and rare fabrics.

30. Mark Matthews, owner of The What Knot 
Menswear enthousiast, Mark Matthews is an expert on not only what not, and how to knot.  His shop located in downtown Cleveland offers a wide arrangement of ties, bowties, socks and speciality tees.

31. Mercedes Davis, owner of Bloom Spa  
Bloom offers a variety of plant based beauty and home products. Davis also operates as a licensed esthetician who prides herself using natural products. 

So this is my list, one amazing black business person for each day of the month, even though I am totally 17 days behind!This was such a hard list to compile,because I could brag for days about all the amazing beautiful brown people out here killing it. I could honestly do a part two?

Black Businesses Matter.

Monday, July 30, 2018


My name is Cookii..... and I'm a 'fixer'

(crowd says 'HI COOKII')  

Not on any Olivia Pope shit....Even though, I'm pretty sure the current administration could use my help.I'm pretty sure I couldn't do any worse..I'll save that blog for another day though.

More of Sinclair from 'Living Single' mixed with Iyanla Vanzant.....with a pinch of Cardi b (Okkkkurrr) . I give the best hugs, sound advice with a teaspoon of adorably colorful ratchet antidotes, sounds pretty accurate if you know me.

But seriously I've always had an unhealthy fascination with 'strays', bet it a friend, romantic interest, family member, whoever.... I just feel drawn to them.

As a kid, I would bring stray cats home and would try to feed them. 
Sounds noble ,right?
Almost adorable?
But I am terribly allergic to cats, so I still would bring them home in attempts to feed them milk and tuna (sidetone Im also allergic to tuna)... Whole entire time my eyes are damn near swollen shut,im breaking out and I almost look like 'Hitch'.
(Thank God, my mom doesn't read this or else she would kill me for feeding them)
After I would feed and love on these cats, they would leave.....often never to been seen again. 
(Interestingly enough, I later developed a fear of cats...... ) 

I tend to do the same thing with humans.... 
I pick the most damaged, emotionally unavailable , toxic human being and attempt to pour love, good energy and positivity in them.... Literally the human form of the strays that almost killed me as a child.
Once they are healed or received whatever was needed at the time, much like the cats, they leave..... often never to be seen again (typically returning to whatever f*cked up situation that lead them into being hurt)

The funniest part is despite knowing that the strays (both human and feline ) were harmful to me, I would still feel the need to indulge.... The need to love and nurture on someone, something that I know wasn't good for me , while suppressing my needs be it love, or Benadryl.... 
Cheering people on knowing I needed the same encouragement for my own accomplishments. 
I couldn't tell you how many times I have had to have a xanax after hours of phone conversations with friends, family members, and former parters because I given career, love, educational advice that I know they are going to listen to anyways.....

I have done this for so many years that I refuse to discuss 90% of what upsets me or actually verbalize what I need as a person, friend, child, partner or woman.  I internalize things and hide them under the burdens of those around me while they are probably killing me with their bullshit ( Benadryl does not work for bull shit allergies, trust me). I have silent meltdowns once I can no longer handle things in my own life or I have healed/nurtured all those around me and left myself with nothing to work with .....

And yes I am smart enough to articulate all of this but dumb enough to continue to let it happen... 
Yet brave enough to post it to my blog.... Maybe this is my subconscious trying to control the f*ck shit , I have been letting slide.....

As I continue on this journey that I have been on for the past few months (something that deserves its own blog at a later date), I have come to realize how important self care is, and how I can no longer  pour into situations that do me harm, especially ones with no emotional return......I have also realized that in my quest to heal the world, and feed the strays, I have made myself hard to love because I don't know how to let anyone care for me.

Getting back, and healing pieces of myself that I have given so freely to so many has been one of the hardest things I have ever done but there has been so much power in it. It hasn't been easy, there have been lots of uncomfortable moments, call out, unanswered calls/text,shut downs,meltdowns and ALOT of sage burning......

As a woman and certainly a black woman there aren't spaces for me to express frustration, hurt or pain, despite my cries for help because we are seen as having an attitude, angry, aggressive, etc.
So much like others, I give up on expressing myself, sharing somewhat important information (and I get my ass chewed out regularly for this) and creating boundaries.

I have had my fill of strays, the ones on four feet AND the ones on two feet... Time for me to experience the best parts of me.... The parts I've given away for so long.


Tuesday, February 20, 2018

'U Better Get This Free Knowledge' Tour Review

So they say 'You get what you pay for ' but in this case, I gotta admit I got my $9* worth and way more..... 

Jessica Dupart or as IG knows her @daRealBBJudy has been on tour doing seminars  for up and coming business owners giving 'free knowledge' on how to succeed. Now I was one of the lucky few hundred that was able to get tickets for her New York date this week.... So I packed my pink carryon, jumped on a flight (we won't talk about how I missed the original one thanks to an enemy name Hennessy )and made it to what is my second home....New York City. 

Lettme back up, if you have been living under a rock, and don't know who @daRealBBJudy is, she is the woman behind the Kaleidoscope Hair Products empire, which features what I believe is one of her best sellers, Miracle Drops (a product that is supposed to regrow edges, beards,etc).  

Okay,back to what I was saying....  

I don't normally go to these kinda things but as a commitment to myself and things I want to accomplish, I had to ... So I did.... I hopped out the car to stand and line, only to see a familiar face! (Crazy how I can go to almost anywhere in the world and see someone I know). It was Mimi from @thefullersideofthings ,she gave me so much love AND put me on camera (Y'all know I don't do video, but thank God I put some make up on because that enemy Hennessy was still VERY real at the time)   

Her NYC date was held in a church and it was almost fitting for the way she spoke.... She gave her truth, what worked for her, hell what didn't work, how it was hard to juggle both romance and business goals (that was an add on, so no shade, you gotta ask her yourself). The room was silent as they held on her every word as 'Judy dropped her knowledge'. The room was filled with some serious positive energy and greatness. There were women of all walks of life and a few men who were ready to learn about taking their careers to the next level....  Now as bad as I want to share the info she was giving....The game is to be sold, and not told, I paid for mine so catch her in Chicago and LA to get yours. 

As she spoke, Jessica's bestie Wuzzam Supa owner of The Crayon Case was front row with boyfriend, Lou. Now you are probably wondering what the f*ck that has to do with anything she was talking about, however to me it spoke to me as how strong they were as not only business owners, but women.  Supa sat in the front row listening to every word that her bestie spoke , allowed her to tell some of her business wins (and opportunities )and NEVER once took her friends shine.  This woman traveled from New Orleans, never once did she try to sell her own product (God knows we all out here strung out trying to get one of those 'Box of Crayons' pallets), she sat and supported her friend....She attempted to be low-key in her presence, but its almost impossible if you ever watched her IG (she is hilarious), so just as quietly as she came in, she left out , but not without taking a few selfies. They say women don't know how to be friends, apparently they never met them....

Now with there being what looks like two dates left (Chicago and LA), I do have some advice for the attendees in the  next cities up 

1- Get there EARLY, this lady draws a crowd! The line was wrapped around 126th st. and trust you will want a good seat!
2- Bring a pen and notebook, she gave the names of alot of good apps you may want to try and references. 
3-Have an external battery for your phone, I typically don't travel without mine at this point in life so I was really happy I had it. She had a really cute IG filter, she took pics with everyone, and you will probably end up swapping names/info with other ladies. 
4- Bring ANY AND ALL PROMO MATERIALS,BUSINESS CARDS,AND SAMPLES. This is your chance for promotion ,net working and exposure, 'shoot your shot' not just with Jessica, or Supa, but with tons of other women who are looking to build .
5-Lastly I strongly advise taking a young woman, its kinda dope seeing a woman who is a self made millionaire (if she isn't I know she has got to be on her way). 

All and all this was one of the best investments of my time (and flight miles) that I have made in a long time....I left feeling inspired and a little more motivated to for some projects I have been wanting to finish...... 

Although I said  I was NOT sharing any of the gems that she shared with us in an effort not to take away from her tour, I will share ONE thing that she repeated,........


Thank You so much for sharing your light.

*Yes, I know that it says FREE but lets be honest nothing in life is ever free and most branding experts would charge at least $100 to give you alot less.... Sis, gave you the tools, food,etc...

Sunday, January 28, 2018

...... I am no ones 'girlfriend' and its okay.

I don't know if the way I originally came across this video was shade from the universe, or divine intervention..... 
However Ill take the latter on that one,lol....

But I actually watched this maybe a half a dozen times before deciding to repost it with my thoughts..
Klairkia confirmed some things that I had been feeling or realizing about myself as of lately, and honestly it has to be a case for most ladies at my age. We are often shamed into thinking that this path is not okay by our peers who have already settled or married, traditions that don't really fit our generation ( like lets be honest you can order pants,alchohol, groceries and find a hook up all from the palm of your hand, life is just not like it used to be),or just burdens from our past.....

Shit, I was actually called 'emotionally unavailable' several times lately for expressing some of these exact sentiments .... And after hearing her speak, it confirmed what I knew....  
I'm not emotionally unavailable, I am just emotionally sensitive, or even selective 
But because of the fact that I love/think differently and certainly very intensely, and its really rare I let anyone in my space or even have a real interest in another party,I  know that I must guard that part of me so that I am not gone off every other cute smile with locs and an accent ( I'll admit it,I gotta type, now judge your mother)....And there is nothing wrong with protecting me, my peace and my space.... There is nothing wrong with entertaining the company of more than one individual, having sex with one or all of them, as long as I am safe and honest with all parties and most importantly, myself.

We have been tricked into thinking that we have to potentially waste years with an individual, walk in the spirit of girlfriend/fiancee/wife or whatever these women hating pastors are feeding us this week in order to build our forevers when nine times out ten we were never supposed to entertain this person for longer than a few months, a few dinners, a baecation and possibly a half a dozen hook ups (if that is your thing, sis)....Whole time you been on hold with someone in someplace,you didn't need to be.... 
And Ms/Mr Right is waiting under your nose ,but you don't know it because you been 'talking' or shacked up with the same person 

We often condemn people for being in relationships for years, they break up and end up happily married to someone that they have known for less than a year.... and WHY? 
Because their previous partner served time and feels entitled to a prize for their time served? It simply doesn't work like that...
Now, I will be the first to admit, I was victim to this way of thinking (not for my own circumstances, none of my exes are happily married....or married for that matter *kanye shrug*) ....But we are often tricked to thinking that loyalty deserves some kinda prize, and it honestly doesn't, you do it because its the right thing to do at that time or its simply apart of your character, anything outside of that is flaw and not genuine .

We are being brainwashed into thinking that we need to rush to be partnered up to be miserable to get married to being legally miserable.......  
And for what? To say we aren't alone? To have monogamous sex? 
All things that we can do while dating?
Let me take a step back, I am not condemning marriage, nor am I saying that I don't want to get married, because I'll be the first to admit that I want to annoy the same person, love on another human and all that good stuff  ONE DAY,  BUT if I haven't learned ANYTHING else in the past few months to a year is that some people aren't forever, they are for right now,accept it , and my ability to overthink can (and will) work against me if I let it. 

Even in the pre-relationship, dating stage we often stop dating/ courting others because we think we have to give relationship benefits when we are still single, and we don't, because that means its a relationship and we have possibly given up what could have been right or even fun, for what we thought was right.... 

I really wish I could show this video to 19-21year old Cookii, it probably would have gone over her head because she was a stubborn wild little Taurus, but it would have nice to at least have it in the back of her head...... Yet 31 year old Cookii appreciates it the same, and feels better that she isn't alone in her thoughts. 

I am no ones 'girlfriend.....And its okay