Sunday, October 15, 2017

Can we have a moment of honesty?

..... Wait this is my blog, all of my moments are honest....

I digress... 


How many times as millennials  do we get an invite to a party, wedding, housewarming, etc  and you could think of 22.7 things you would rather do then go to that event. I mean its not that you don't want to support the host for whatever it is... Its just that eating gelato out of the tub in you high school tee, and the basketball shorts (or hoodie) of your latest sexual conquest (pause can we all thank God that my mom doesn't read this?) honestly sounds way better for the mental  than the awkward forced conversation about why you aren't married/have no kids yet  between you and someone that you are purely familiar with on a Facebook 'like' level? 

... The Facebook 'like' level is that person that you always like their status, make empty promises of going out for drinks with for a belated birthday /happy hour, and the only reason why you know where they work is because you told them congrats on a post when they got the job....

But once again, I digress... 

Like honestly do you want to be pulled from the comfort of your couch, to put on pants (don't act like I'm the only one who dreads putting on pants, I have to wear them 40 hours a week already), to be subjected to a spread of food inspired by the three Pinterest boards, or my new favorite ,a  vegan spread (because everyone has watched 'Whats The Health?',but i believe that that pint of Hen-Doggy Dog completely crosses out the fact that you don't eat meat anymore, Sis).... Like come on y'all, stop with all this theme shit, where is the mini quiche? meatballs? bagged salad? the wings? And don't forget the 'baby shower punch', don't act like don't what that know that shit that is! 7-up, sherbet and Hawaiian punch served in a large punch bowl, I'm sure its the leading cause of diabetes in the black community but the shit is good none the less.....

Once again, its totally nothing against the host, or not wanting to celebrate their new baby, home,nupituals, etc..... 

Its just you have no interest in being subjected to the pageantry of it.   
Thats okay.....right?

Then you feel bad, like you are a bad person for wanting to do more (or less ) with your personal time..... like its not possible for you not to want to  be bothered..... like saving energy, make up (I can't go to social gatherings without atleast a slight beat because, well.....everyone is snapping and can't get the filters for my angles right- You know I'm right),gas/uber fare isn't a real thing. 


There have been points in my life where I driven myself crazy to attend events (and bring a gift)....When just simply sending a gift could have save myself some energy...and money..... I mean lets face it, depending on the event (and host) this gathering a really more of a fundraising event than actual celebration...
You honestly have saved your host some money by simply declining the invite (and plate) and just sending whatever they registered for at Target ... 










Tuesday, October 10, 2017


Me... 198?

I often want to give up, but I remember that this kid....



3A's of Adulthood.....

If there isn't one thing I have learned as an adult (shit, I am an adult,aren't I?), is there is some serious power in the 3 A's adult interactions.....


What are the 3A's you ask? 
Well I'm glad you asked....



  • Acknowledgement -Acknowledging that you have hurt/upset/offended someone, while it may not have been the intention it happened, and face it so you can save whatever relationship be it business, romantic or plutonic (well if its worth it)
  • Accountability -Take accountability for it, don't just leave it for the there party to deal with it.... Our egos often get in the way of this party 
  • Apologize - There is sooo much power in apologies, because they are often unexpected simply because we are such slaves to our egos , others perceptions of us, and the need not to be seen as 'weak'

I have seen so many situations where if someone (and even myself, shit I'm not perfect) used the 3A'S , hell even one of them could have saved some situations and relationships honestly. But its something that us that just won't let us .

...And I guess thats the ego part?

Thats some dangerous shit.... An invisible thing that is essentially worthless yet can cost us so much in seconds...

Like I said before, I myself have fallen victim to my ego and have lost a few friends behind it, but i have to admit the ego (and logic) of 21-27 year old Cookii is way different than thirty-something (mind your business)Cookii, and if I could do it all over again, me being a Taurus I'd probably do things the same way....

Im a work in progress,
Judge ya mother.


But in all seriousness, I've said all this to say that life is short, love is real and if something so small as an apology can save a REAL friendship or love, just do it

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Confessions of a Bridesmaid pt 1

So one of the biggest honors in adult 'girl' world is asking your sisters ,besties, flossy posse, or whatever to be your bridesmaid.......

And as if life as a (often) single, (super) broke millennial is not stressful costly enough....


You say yes   


You say yes to the next 12 months of spending a small fortune, starving yourself for a dress that you will never wear again (hell not that you want to wear it again), arguing about the difference between ivory, off white and eggshell , tending to about million GroupMe/Group text/pinterest boards all hours and times....


And why the hell do you torture yourself like this? 
Because its some kinda sacred tribal ritual that women need some type of part in..... 
(Im sure you are laughing at this point but Im so serious)   

Wedding and specifically bridal parties bring the strangest behaviors in women, like its really some ole National Geographic type shit to watch, but its all based on one consistent variable that controls all of this....

The Bride
  

You have the 'Beyonce' bride, she wants the bridal party (her bridesmaids), in TOTAL  'formation' / She is slightly nicer than the Bridezilla but trust she is still sending Pinterest boards at 2am because the closer the date gets the less she (and you) sleep. She is gonna ask for the most in the most passive aggressive semi sweet way..... 


And speaking of Bridezilla, we all know one... She is kinda annoying, and a little bit of a bitch on the regular so she is about 20 times worse as a bride. She assumes that you are gonna want to spent the next 9-12 months attending her dress trials/fittings, learning some kinda complicated number the Queen Janet, Saint Beyonce and Rihanna the great wouldn't attempt to do
....Oh and did I mention that she is gonna pick the most expensive dress that NO ONE looks good in? (Come on,Sis.... Why am I spending $300 on a dress to look like a reject Teletubbie?)  

Note: If you value your friendship with her,  think real hard if you want to be in her bridal part because she gonna pluck nerves you didn't know you had? And if you value your sanity DO NOT BE THE MAID OF HONOR,SIS! 



Then there is the ' I need to lose 15 albs' Bride..
She is total focused on how thin (or fat) she will look in the Facebook wedding pictures that she isn't even really paying attention to her bridal party.  So your best bet is to show up dressed and wearing the Target necklaces that she just remembered to buy when she was picking up new yoga pants for the class she takes on her lunch break instead of eating. 
....Just be prepared to hold up her hair when she wants to throw up the fourth of a cupcake she ate at the wedding shower.... 


One of my favorites is the DIY Bride 
Now she is serious, she is going to go super hard on each detail. She has Pinterest board for every stage of this  and one for her own damn bridal shower( you know the one she asked you to throw). We all know this woman, she is the one that wants you to spend your Friday nights 'spending time', which really means come over and build the table centerpieces while eating her doughy ass homemade pizza and drinking $6 wine she bought off the clearance table at he grocery store.... You literally just convinced her not to bake her own wedding cake.... 
She has replaced sleep with watching YouTube videos about creating paper flowers out of newspaper  


There is the 'Destination 'Bride ...
Not only do you like her as a person because you are attending her wedding, but you love her because you probably spent about 2k on travel, hair, dress, etc  to be in it too.... This bride is probably one of the more easy going ones honestly, because she knows the money she is saving her bridal party is spending....
As you start tallying up your expenses and figuring out if you are gonna eat Top Ramen for a month so you can buy your Bridal tee, Bridal swimsuit and passport just call it a vacation 
.... You will feel better, trust me.


.....And again you ask WHY THE F**K are you making yourself miserable for 6months to a year only for it to all be done in about 30 minutes?  
Because she is your friend, you love her ,you wouldn't miss it for the world and  most importantly.....if the shoe is on the other foot, that Bitch better put it on! 










Special congrats to all my girls who got married this summer....
Leah, Tyla, Luvecha, and Lauren



Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Dating....Talking.... Hell I don't know what to call it as a millennial



So I was having a very interesting conversation with a new friend about dating as a millennial ....
And I realized this shit completely for the birds.

No.... Like seriously....

People always want women who are 'good' women ,the ones who will hold you down,cook,be intelligent,caring,etc BUT have no desire to give her what she needs to maintain what she gives to them and/or relationship.... 
I mean if you buy a nice house, you have to pay to maintain that......right?
Like you hear people talk about I want a woman who does this,looks like this,etc..... but you have to wonder WHAT DID YOU DO FOR HER besides a seven minutes of weak stroke and endless apps at Friday's**?
(Yea, I said 'stroke' on my blog for the first time.... My mama doesn't read this lol) 

You want a cultured girl? Did you buy her a book or take her to a museum?
You want her to be intelligent? Did you put something on her tuition or books when she struggled to make it ? 
You wanted one that served you more than Hamburger Helper and Utz chips?*** Did you wash  the dishes or say thank you when she cooked?
You want her to be nurturing? Did you ever stop thinking of yourself, pour back into her after she has given so much to you and your dramatic shit? 
Being the 'strong' one is tiring, what about her hard time, bad news, and I guess you forgot she gets stressed, huh? 

Its confusing because we as a generation desire the love and commitment we see in our grandparents and celebrity couples, but run at the first sight of trouble (or when an ex calls for that matter), we are too cool to love/show emotion,everyone is a damn 'savage', no one goes on dates (they are just having casual sex arranged around a few happy hours) and everyone is in a 'situationship' (which isn't even a word, like my spell check is on fire right now and the red line bothers the hell out of me)

.......Our generation is so busy talking about #goals but not really willing to step up and  build to get to them?  

So I said all that to say ,wake me up when we are done with this emotionless ,emotionally damaging/draining, I-am-way-too-cool-to-let-you-know-I-like-you-but-Im-going-to-be-shitty-when-you-get-tired-of-my-shit-and-find-someone-to-love-you-like-I-should-have trend is over...... 
Because I desire the love, emotion, commitment,I am saying it and Im not too cool to either...... 
Come love on me, communicate with me,text me and tell me you miss me.... 
Im here for it



**No shade to Friday's though.... But just going to mozzarella stick me to death, sis.
***No shade to the ladies trying to cook, but sis stop this #cookingForBae shit,please.