Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Here we go.....

So before we start with our 'new year, new me' post, can we have a moment of truth?


Well, since Im writing.... Im just going to pretend that you just agreed....

Lets just be honest with ourselves, not live in the resolutions, but give sincere effort to become healthier, less fucked up versions of ourselves who can save a few dollars for 2018 and every other year we are blessed to see after that? 


-Cookii


Sunday, December 10, 2017

  
Jay W. Lewis
11/29/1984- 11/06/2017

I told you that you were sent here to make the world a little bit more beautiful,
I left out the part where you loved, and made the most inappropriate jokes...
Its hard being in a world that still goes on with one less amazing ,funny person in it.
Over the past few weeks people have tried to comfort me telling me that you are in a better place, but honestly....Whats better than here with all of us? 
I guess I may be selfish in that aspect and I'm totally okay with that... 
But its hard to be here without my friend, my movie buddy, my dinner date, and of course my drinking partner.... 
Remember that time we met that vampire in that seedy ass gay bar,  the time you came to my graduation because my dad was sick in the hospital or that time I helped fray silk organza for your senior collection? 
You have blessed me with the example of true friendship and love... 
I won't ever be the same.

Ill love you forever 
-Ash




Sunday, October 15, 2017

Can we have a moment of honesty?

..... Wait this is my blog, all of my moments are honest....

I digress... 


How many times as millennials  do we get an invite to a party, wedding, housewarming, etc  and you could think of 22.7 things you would rather do then go to that event. I mean its not that you don't want to support the host for whatever it is... Its just that eating gelato out of the tub in you high school tee, and the basketball shorts (or hoodie) of your latest sexual conquest (pause can we all thank God that my mom doesn't read this?) honestly sounds way better for the mental  than the awkward forced conversation about why you aren't married/have no kids yet  between you and someone that you are purely familiar with on a Facebook 'like' level? 

... The Facebook 'like' level is that person that you always like their status, make empty promises of going out for drinks with for a belated birthday /happy hour, and the only reason why you know where they work is because you told them congrats on a post when they got the job....

But once again, I digress... 

Like honestly do you want to be pulled from the comfort of your couch, to put on pants (don't act like I'm the only one who dreads putting on pants, I have to wear them 40 hours a week already), to be subjected to a spread of food inspired by the three Pinterest boards, or my new favorite ,a  vegan spread (because everyone has watched 'Whats The Health?',but i believe that that pint of Hen-Doggy Dog completely crosses out the fact that you don't eat meat anymore, Sis).... Like come on y'all, stop with all this theme shit, where is the mini quiche? meatballs? bagged salad? the wings? And don't forget the 'baby shower punch', don't act like don't what that know that shit that is! 7-up, sherbet and Hawaiian punch served in a large punch bowl, I'm sure its the leading cause of diabetes in the black community but the shit is good none the less.....

Once again, its totally nothing against the host, or not wanting to celebrate their new baby, home,nupituals, etc..... 

Its just you have no interest in being subjected to the pageantry of it.   
Thats okay.....right?

Then you feel bad, like you are a bad person for wanting to do more (or less ) with your personal time..... like its not possible for you not to want to  be bothered..... like saving energy, make up (I can't go to social gatherings without atleast a slight beat because, well.....everyone is snapping and can't get the filters for my angles right- You know I'm right),gas/uber fare isn't a real thing. 


There have been points in my life where I driven myself crazy to attend events (and bring a gift)....When just simply sending a gift could have save myself some energy...and money..... I mean lets face it, depending on the event (and host) this gathering a really more of a fundraising event than actual celebration...
You honestly have saved your host some money by simply declining the invite (and plate) and just sending whatever they registered for at Target ... 










Tuesday, October 10, 2017


Me... 198?

I often want to give up, but I remember that this kid....



3A's of Adulthood.....

If there isn't one thing I have learned as an adult (shit, I am an adult,aren't I?), is there is some serious power in the 3 A's adult interactions.....


What are the 3A's you ask? 
Well I'm glad you asked....



  • Acknowledgement -Acknowledging that you have hurt/upset/offended someone, while it may not have been the intention it happened, and face it so you can save whatever relationship be it business, romantic or plutonic (well if its worth it)
  • Accountability -Take accountability for it, don't just leave it for the there party to deal with it.... Our egos often get in the way of this party 
  • Apologize - There is sooo much power in apologies, because they are often unexpected simply because we are such slaves to our egos , others perceptions of us, and the need not to be seen as 'weak'

I have seen so many situations where if someone (and even myself, shit I'm not perfect) used the 3A'S , hell even one of them could have saved some situations and relationships honestly. But its something that us that just won't let us .

...And I guess thats the ego part?

Thats some dangerous shit.... An invisible thing that is essentially worthless yet can cost us so much in seconds...

Like I said before, I myself have fallen victim to my ego and have lost a few friends behind it, but i have to admit the ego (and logic) of 21-27 year old Cookii is way different than thirty-something (mind your business)Cookii, and if I could do it all over again, me being a Taurus I'd probably do things the same way....

Im a work in progress,
Judge ya mother.


But in all seriousness, I've said all this to say that life is short, love is real and if something so small as an apology can save a REAL friendship or love, just do it